All of us have a unique story that has shaped who we are. Most of us, if not all, have been through something that caused a great shift in our lives. It stopped us in our tracks, then propelled us forward. It caused us to think hard about the direction we were going, and grateful for the strength to arrive at where we are now. Recounting your story can be painful, scary, and uncomfortable. But when we shed these old versions of ourselves, step into the light of our own healing, and own our voices about how far we have come from where we started– we are empowered. What is your story?
owning my own story
My story has multiple facets; I have a story for each decade of my life. I am your classic case of a multitude of emotional traumas, but I am also a genuinely happy person. I do not like to be sad for long.
This does not mean I am never sad. When my father died when I was 13 years old, I was left confused and hurt as I learned for the first time about his life of drugs and danger. I felt a huge loss, realizing I would never get to have a relationship with him (I had only met him a few times), and that I knew very little about the man that lived on the other side of the country, but had my eyes and smile. Similarly, when the man who did raise me as his own, took his own life the week after I moved away for college, my heart was again shattered. I have certainly felt abandoned by my father figures. On a lighter note, I have an extremely loving grandpa who still to this day asks me if I remember him teaching me how to walk.
“Part of the healing process is owning your story, but you must of course be far enough along in your healing to do this in a safe and positive way.”
The pain of my story began showing up in my teenage eating disorder: binging, purging, and starving. Later it showed up in my heavy drinking and unhealthy relationships until I woke up one day as a college drop-out with no job, sixty pounds heavier, and in an abusive relationship. I decided to get to work on myself, or risk becoming everything I never wanted to be. Today I have two college degrees, I am healthy, I’m married to a wonderful man, and I’m living a life of passion and purpose!
Related Article: How To Heal From a Loss
My purpose for sharing my story is to relate to those of you out there who need to know you will be okay. I want to connect with my clients in my health coaching business, and inspire them to overcome their own painful stories. I would also like to prove that those of us with painful stories are completely capable of carrying on stronger, happier, and healed. The best part is, you don’t have to be the painful person you were when you were going through the chapters of your story. It took me a long time to realize I didn’t have to be the daughter of an alcoholic who took his own life. I didn’t have to be the girl with an eating disorder, or the girl bullied in school for being overweight. I’m not the broken girl in an abusive relationship. I am none of those women today. I love each and every one of those old extensions of myself, but I have pardoned them from my present life. When you are ready to move from your past to your future, you will let go too.
you have the power to choose your own life
Did you know this already? I ask because I did not intuitively know that I had this superpower until the day I decided I was sick of living in my past and recounting the pain it caused my present. I made a choice to redesign my life. Why isn’t this concept taught more often to young girls? We ask, “what do you want to DO when you grow up?” when we should be asking, “who do you want to BE when you grow up.” I want to be the best version of myself, so that I can help others be their best version of themselves. My happiness comes from helping others feel happiness.
We all have a unique story that has shaped who we are right now. If you are afraid of your story, you aren’t owning it yet. To own your story is to say to the world, “I walked through fire to get here, and I am thankful that I have arrived.” You feel no pity for yourself, or anger toward anyone else. You have forgiven and you have moved on. There is a beautiful, miraculous power in that.
Love & Light,
*If you would like help with owning your own story and healing from your past, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.